tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33524742011-07-14T20:37:52.055-04:00Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. -- Groucho MarxJ. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.comBlogger1371100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1105765032815924302005-01-14T23:55:00.000-05:002005-01-14T23:57:12.816-05:00

Well, with LiveJournal down, I don't have an immediate forum for my thoughts. Also, I am deathly afraid that I've lost all of my LJ shit since I haven't saved any of it ever. Argh. Since I've largely used this site as a "reprint" site, perhaps it would be good for me to republish some of my stuff, like 52 Girls, here at blogger. Anyone ever visit me here?

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1094634015612344222004-09-08T04:41:00.000-04:002004-09-08T05:00:15.613-04:00

In cleaning my apartment, I came across a notebook from 1996. Here's more stuff that was written in it. The Readiness is All! The Red-y-ness is Hall. All in the family. Family Affair. Oedipus Complex. Not as complex as you might think I'm crazy. Crazy as a fox. Foxy Lady. Lady of Spain I adore you. Je t'adore, mademoiselle. Petite Juene Fille. Thank Heavens For Little Girls. Little

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1094520352624945432004-09-06T21:23:00.000-04:002004-09-06T21:25:52.623-04:00

February Fourteen Nineteen Ninety-Six (I believe this was a series of automatic writing thingies) The flower of Western Culture blooms inside my nose. Get me a toothpick, then, Boda lives. Shave your great big forearm with my petite blossom. When it flies from my nose into the handkerchief of desire, I… Flower of Western Culture Blossoms Beavis and Butthead Dumb + Dumber Selectively

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1087851077293054132004-06-21T16:50:00.000-04:002004-06-21T16:51:17.293-04:00

I altered Teatro Triste del Clown so that anyone can make comments. Go to town, my sisters and brothers.

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1087721713025067722004-06-20T04:53:00.000-04:002004-06-20T04:58:52.800-04:00

What follows are reprints of all the things I wrote at Chickenlegs.net before it died. The last of my posts - January 25, 2003, I think - was the last post that ever appeared on Chickenlegs.net before it died. I am amused by how much of this I have already repeated. Especially stuff about hair.

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1087721613521311632004-06-20T04:52:00.000-04:002004-06-20T04:53:33.520-04:00

Reprinted from Chickenlegs.net - 8/03/02 The minute Freddy Mercury sings, “Oooo, you make me live,” my cat knows exactly what is going on. Moving quickly before he can skitter away, I scoop him up onto my shoulder. He emits an anguished wail. Then the drums kick in and we dance, dance, dance. I am singing at the top of my lungs when he begins to purr. I know he is faking. It is a purr that

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1087721557634861882004-06-20T04:51:00.000-04:002004-06-20T04:52:37.636-04:00

Reprinted from Chickenlegs - 8/13/02 There are few places more aggressively heterosexual than the YMCA gym. Forget the Village People’s song – if you want to be surrounded by grunting, angry men, go the gym at your local Y. I think they are angry about the song. When they come out of the gym, there is always going to be some dude parked in a Civic who looks at them and smirks knowingly. Thus

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1087721479891824312004-06-20T04:50:00.000-04:002004-06-20T04:51:19.890-04:00

Reprinted from Chickenlegs - 8/20/02 For years, my back has been a barren plane devoid of growth. If you were a flea, you would have had no shelter below my neck, let me tell you, Jack. Then, last week, the horror came to my apartment. I felt an itch in the middle of my back, at the very limit of my arm's reach. It was a hair. A vile hair. A loathesome hair. "No problem," I foolishly

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-108772137894802522004-06-20T04:49:00.000-04:002004-06-20T04:49:38.950-04:00

Reprinted from Chickenlegs - 9/02/02 Coming Soon! Real Life Conversations With My Girlfriend's Drug Addict Brother! In Amazing 2-D! Shocking! Horrific! Surprisingly Tedious! Here's a sample: HIM: I used to hang around this ice dealer named Jose. Jose and this other drug dealer were fucking this chick who they thought was, like, 29. But then, after they had fucked her, they found out she

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1087721315683838592004-06-20T04:48:00.000-04:002004-06-20T04:48:35.683-04:00

Reprinted from Chickenlegs - 9/13/02 I am not asking you to hate John Ashcroft for buggering the Freedom of Information Act. I'm not asking you to hate him because he may be a racist, or because he may favor Christians over non-Christians in a decidedly un-American way. I'm not even asking you to dislike him because of his singing. No, I am asking you to hate him because he doesn't like boobs

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1087721248494456522004-06-20T04:46:00.000-04:002004-06-20T04:47:28.493-04:00

Reprinted from Chickenlegs.net - 9/28/02 I try to be pretty open minded about different fetishes. I realize people all like different things. For example, some people get really turned on by feet. Personally, the idea of a foot, even a clean foot on an attractive person, anywhere near my mouth makes me feel a little sick. However, feet have always had something of an allure in certain

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1087721191982597422004-06-20T04:45:00.000-04:002004-06-20T04:46:31.983-04:00

Reprinted from Chickenlegs.net - 10/15/02 I think I am lactating. No, seriously, I know I'm a guy and stuff, and nothing has actually come out of my nipples, but I feel like my breasts are just swelling with milk. I feel like I could feed a nation. Starving children could come up to me and I would suckle them. Sure, I would need to shave my nipples first, or at least pluck them, but the

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-108772113358906592004-06-20T04:44:00.000-04:002004-06-20T04:45:33.590-04:00

Reprinted from Chickenlegs - 10/20/02 True confession time, ladies and gentlemen. I lost my virginity on a bean bag chair in a dorm room in the mid 1980's. I lasted all of about 12 seconds, which is still something of a longevity record for me. As far as sex locations go, a bean bag chair is about as lame as it gets. The worst part is that, since the bean bag chair was lame, we continued

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1087721031880882292004-06-20T04:43:00.000-04:002004-06-20T04:43:51.880-04:00

Reprinted from Chickenlegs - 11/07/02 Finding willing soldiers in times of war is often a difficult thing to do. College age students, particularly boys, realize that war could mean death and that dead men don't shag. In addition, politicians, ever wary about re-election, won't want to shout "draft," as the very dim-witted people who voted for them will likely be the first ones killed on the

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1087720975565468922004-06-20T04:42:00.000-04:002004-06-20T04:42:55.566-04:00

Reprinted from Chickenlegs.net - 11/17/02 --- Each caption is accompanied by a suitable image This is Jack. This is the gas that Jack bought. This is the Gas Station Attendent who sold the gas that Jack bought. This is the Station Manager who ordered the gas that the Gas Station Attendent sold to Jack. This is the Oil Company Executive who made the deal so the Station Manager could order

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1087720922068567032004-06-20T04:41:00.000-04:002004-06-20T04:42:02.070-04:00

Reprinted from Chickenlegs - 11/28/02 What am I thankful for? Well, I'm damn glad you asked. Most of you are too young to remember the time before the Interweb and so you take it for granted. Let me describe a typical pre-Interweb day to you: It is about three in the afternoon and it is time to find some porn. "Johnny" (name changed to protect my anonymity) realizes his whole family is

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1087720839605020122004-06-20T04:39:00.001-04:002004-06-20T04:40:39.606-04:00

Reprinted from Chickenlegs.net - 12/05/02 The holiday season brings grim nightmares. Nightmares about characters from holiday specials. Nightmares about Heat Miser. I lie down to sleep and pull the electric blanket over me, afraid to close my eyes. Inevitably, sleep comes and with it, the dreams. He is in front of me, his flaming red hair at my crotch level. He is singing his little song

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1087720778615718962004-06-20T04:39:00.000-04:002004-06-20T04:39:38.616-04:00

Reprinted from Chickenlegs - 12/25/02 All right, this is going to get gross. You have been warned. I like that “empty” feeling. You know the one I’m talking about. You’ve been carrying a load around all day, you go to the toilet with your copy of Gravity’s Rainbow, and you evacuate. If it is a good day, you evacuate a ton. You worry that you are going to clog up the toilet. You’ve done it

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1087720727931565522004-06-20T04:37:00.000-04:002004-06-20T04:38:47.930-04:00

Reprinted from Chickenlegs.net - 1/13/03 One thing they don't tell you when you are being forced to take drug awareness classes in high school is the effect of heroin on your skin. Now, my girlfriend is in the middle of what you might call a major relapse, so I've watched her skin go from silky and smooth to scab covered and bumpy. Mind you, this is not where she is injecting herself - this is

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1087719009678571212004-06-20T04:09:00.000-04:002004-06-20T04:36:58.506-04:00

Reprinted from Chickenlegs - 1/23/03 This month, I've been reading Journals by Kurt Cobain. Well, when I write "this month," I should stress that I mean, "from time to time when sitting on the toilet." Actually, the toilet is where I do most of my reading. Sometimes, I can't poop unless I am reading something. I think this is why people write on walls in bathrooms - so that they will have

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1083106041127874432004-04-27T18:47:00.000-04:002004-04-27T18:50:25.140-04:00

CNN.com - Halle Berry files for divorce - Apr 27, 2004 Soon... Soon she will be mine... soon...

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1081409290404796512004-04-08T03:28:00.000-04:002004-04-08T03:30:54.966-04:00

Originally Published at Vutant on 26 Feb 2004 Dunston Holloway is a frequent contributor to Fangoria magazine and operator of the soon-to-open website, Blood Hound - The Gore Movie Site. I sent him an e-mail asking if he could review some movies so I wouldn't have to come up with updates on my own. We at Vutant are proud to present his review of The Passion of the Christ. --- Dude, I got to

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1078969072800853052004-03-10T20:37:00.000-05:002004-03-10T20:40:08.936-05:00

Man, I am angry. I mean, fuming at the temples angry. Anger is dripping down my face like syrup down waffles. I mean, I am really, truly pissed off. Every molecule of my body is screaming in fury, like a chorus of munchkins. If you walked by me, you would hear their angry ballad. I feel like i have a massive build up of stomach gas - like I really need to belch or something - but instead of

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1076295733681083472004-02-08T22:01:00.000-05:002004-02-08T22:03:59.293-05:00

Reprinted from Validate This Forget all that patriotic talk y'all heard from the USA yesterday. The Fourth of July ain't about independence or being 'merican or any of that stuff. Nope, today is about the one thing that really brings us together as a nation. Blowin' crap up. Damn, if I don't love a good explosion every now and again. Lessin' there's a good ball of fire in a movie, I think

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1076027860939823722004-02-05T19:37:00.000-05:002004-02-05T19:39:23.090-05:00

Are you still here, Mr. Michaels?

Lady Potamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01041461627906543379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1073111555077094092004-01-03T01:32:00.000-05:002004-01-03T01:33:43.763-05:00

The Flesh Tailors Chapter One "...Here's Liz Tucker reporting from downtown..." "Thank you, Karen. Human blood rained down for almost five minutes on a stunned crowd at the base of the nearly finished Klein Building today. Shockingly, there doesn't seem to be any source for the blood." Detective Steve Major: "Everyone in the building is accounted for and security cameras indicate that nobody

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1071225636173079072003-12-12T05:39:00.000-05:002003-12-12T05:41:23.216-05:00

Reprinted from VT When the lady plunged the needle into my arm for the third time, I realized I wouldn't be donating blood today. I have a rare blood type. Super rare. So rare that I know I save sick and dying people every time I give blood. It makes me feel important, so I give lots and lots of it. Sometimes, I even lie so I can give blood sooner than I am supposed to. Actually, giving

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1069571717044440762003-11-23T02:14:00.000-05:002003-11-23T02:15:45.326-05:00

I confess. I am a hub. Recently, a friend of mine, let us call him "Anthony," started to make a chart of who amongst our immediate circle of friends had slept with whom. It looked like a genealogy tree gone horribly awry. Anthony called it the "Circle of Sin." The chart was incredibly detailed. I was stunned to learn that nine of the people I have been "attached" to were public

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1069107518964276342003-11-17T17:18:00.000-05:002003-11-17T17:19:01.903-05:00

Squirrel Fishing A gallery of other Squirrel Fishing photos. the Squirrel Fishing Model. Squirrel fishing at Penn State. Still more yet photos of Squirrel Fishing. Some truly spectacular photos from the University of Washington.

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1068508551215612572003-11-10T18:55:00.000-05:002003-11-10T18:55:48.280-05:00

I asked Katy if she would mind if I wrote an update for her. She probably think I was being random by doing this but, the truth of the matter is, I wanted to write a graduation address for her and the millions of other kids who are graduating from high school in the next month. Class of 2002, the world has changed an awful lot in the last century. One hundred years ago, kids your age were

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1066043168187879932003-10-13T07:04:00.000-04:002003-10-13T07:06:08.256-04:00

Today is Pirate Appreciation Day at all former Unlovely.net affiliated sites. We are appreciating pirates out the wazoo (and, what the heck, in the wazoo, too). Check in at My LiveJournal for more information, particularly on how to access the UnlovelyDotNet community.

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1065174216582525642003-10-03T05:42:00.000-04:002003-10-03T05:43:36.123-04:00

7 1/2"

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1064739360603288032003-09-28T04:50:00.000-04:002003-09-28T04:55:59.956-04:00

Title: One to One is Two - July 4, 1994 Notes: Recorded after being dumped by a long time girlfriend. I probably didn't make a copy of this one for her. This one was entirely recorded on a tape to tape recorder. Side 1 It Aint Easy - David Bowie It Only Makes Me Laugh - Danny Elfman Embarrasment - Madness Disappear - Sonic Youth Stop Your Sobbing - The Pretenders You're All I've Got

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1064135827777557722003-09-21T05:16:00.000-04:002003-09-21T05:17:07.736-04:00

Mad props to God for designing pants in such a way that we can take them off and scratch when we need to. BOO YAH!

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1063320082297332152003-09-11T18:41:00.000-04:002003-09-11T18:41:22.246-04:00

A Group is it's own Worst Enemy

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1063227631366199672003-09-10T17:00:00.000-04:002003-09-10T17:00:31.213-04:00

So what did you think? Is it worth continuing? Is anybody reading it? Write me and let me know.

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1063181321520957382003-09-10T04:08:00.000-04:002003-09-10T04:09:59.200-04:00

Here it is! All Six Parts of "PEN*IS*MIGHTIER!" That's right, including the incredible conclusion of Book One! Thanks for your patience and enjoy - I hope! PEN*IS*MIGHTIER – Part 1 Who Needs The Talent When You Got The Tool? The most important thing to remember is that I’m no artist. No, I’ve been accused of being an illustrator - even a doodler - but my work has never been mistaken for

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1063091137671870322003-09-09T03:05:00.000-04:002003-09-09T03:06:19.736-04:00

PEN*IS*MIGHTIER Coming Soon For Real I. Conclusion of first epsiode I apologize for the incredible delay. I will be reprinting the series in its entirety in the next few days in preparation for the big conclusion. II. Episode 2 Another five part story, this time dealing with some nasties called "The Flesh Tailors." All will be made clear in time. I will really be doing this this time,

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1061922820029751912003-08-26T14:33:00.000-04:002003-08-26T14:33:40.040-04:00

Where's Joey Now? For the record, while I will return in triumph to this blog one day soon, you can typically find me writing at the following locations: For almost daily updates, try My LiveJournal. For more carefully edited updates in the Unlovely stylee visit Vutant. When I have something to say about pop culture, there's no place I'd rather put it than SelfHatred.com. Every day mundane

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-1056762094050727922003-06-27T21:01:00.000-04:002003-06-27T21:01:34.080-04:00

Hello! Joey! Are you there? You owe an update on the story! Yoo Hoo!

Lady Potamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01041461627906543379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-942205832003-05-12T15:42:00.000-04:002003-05-12T15:42:49.506-04:00

PEN*IS*MIGHTIER - Update I am working on the next (possibly final) installment of the story right now. I will try to have it up on the site within the next two weeks. I apologize to everyone (Gav) who has been following the story! Mea culpa!

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-934127822003-04-28T14:17:00.000-04:002003-04-28T14:17:59.460-04:00

A Brief Song for Lola Strumming of a guitar - like from a Johnn Cash song - begins Ken. Ken was a cook. Ken cooked corn. Corn on the cob, corn on your plate, if you want corn you're not too late. Ken. Dale. Dale was his dog. Dale dug dog food. Food from a can, food in his dish, every day at five he got his wish. Dale. Then one fine day at a quarter to five Ken exclaimed, "lordy

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-931413062003-04-23T19:00:00.000-04:002003-04-23T19:01:00.000-04:00

More Survivorblog Detrius Today's Prayer Let us bow our heads. Praise be to the procrastination god. May he help us find new ways to avoid the awful things we have to do. He maketh us to write blog entries while our coworkers aren't looking. May he watch over us as our boss bursts into our office and asks us, again and again, why we haven't finished that one page report. He maketh us to

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-930758162003-04-22T19:14:00.000-04:002003-04-22T19:14:19.830-04:00

More SurvivorBLOG Detrius So that it won't vanish, I post this discussion from Survivorblog. I Am Trying to Break Your Heart Did everyone see this? (Note: Ben said that the SurvivorBLOG money was coming from his own pocket. Apparently, our host was going to be paying the prize money out of his own pocket. Now, I realize that it isn't as fun for the readers to donate money to SurvivorBLOG as

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-930153382003-04-21T21:06:00.000-04:002003-04-21T21:06:08.123-04:00

SurvivorBLOG 3 Detrius So, apparently, Ben will be deleting the Survivorblog entries by the 29th. Since I want to keep them, I will be posting them here. Hurray! Today, we begin with the Kitty Michaels saga: From Kitty Michaels Dead cockroach on the living room floor. Was it moving a while ago? I forget. I wish it would move now, for batting around a lifeless bug corpse doesn't quite match

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-920114042003-04-04T18:34:00.000-05:002003-04-04T18:34:42.356-05:00

PEN*IS*MIGHTIER - Part 5 Its back and *MIGHTIER* than ever! ** Big BirdTM had taken to calling Mrs. Bilbao's office "The Doodle Pad." I had spent the last three hours carefully designing some friends for the feathered fury but this time I drew them in pencil first. I figured it was better to be able to perfect the designs before I tried to bring them to life. The problem is that I am not

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-918114772003-04-01T21:17:00.000-05:002003-04-01T21:20:43.000-05:00

This was my original "second to last" chapter at Survivorblog. I had to replace it because I bite. "Oh Jesus. Not Rhi. Not Rhi..." Renee sobbed as she watched her friend's blue, bloated corpse rotate up and out of the river. She wished she hadn't listed to her now, but it had seemed like such a good idea at the time. "Nay, over here, quick!" She heard a voice whisper, at the top of the

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-917395772003-03-31T18:43:00.000-05:002003-03-31T18:43:25.920-05:00

PEN*IS*MIGHTIER – Part Four “Does Mrs. Bilbao have a cell phone?” I figured we could call her and get Chickenman – or Big BirdTM, or whatever he wanted to be called – back here to fight the killer ducks. We were barricaded in the lobby of Painted Desert Marketing, the sounds of little duck machetes and axes at the door. “No. Can’t you just draw another superhero? Maybe Super Duck Hunter or

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-915025922003-03-27T16:18:00.000-05:002003-03-27T16:18:11.216-05:00

PEN*IS*MIGHTIER – Part 3 “Who’s that? Chickenman?” asked Misha, the secretary. Indeed, I had meant to draw something like The Savage DragonTM, whom I’d doodled before in an effort to ape Erik Larson’s style, but I must have been nervous. He really looked like some kind of chicken fetishist on steroids. “The Chicktacular Chickenman,” I replied, sheepishly. “What are you going to do? Scare

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-913725832003-03-25T17:40:00.000-05:002003-03-25T17:43:09.000-05:00

PEN*IS*MIGHTIER – Part Two Pirate Booty “Did you hear about the gargoyle?” I was sitting in the waiting room of Painted Desert Marketing. I didn’t know where else to go. Yeah, yeah, I might have released a demon into the world, but I still needed to make rent, you know? I shaved on the road, which is never pleasant. I figured if there was going to be a mob after me, I wanted to be at least

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-908486472003-03-17T05:54:00.000-05:002003-03-17T05:54:02.390-05:00

PEN*IS*MIGHTIER – Part 1 Who Needs The Talent When You Got The Tool? The most important thing to remember is that I’m no artist. No, I’ve been accused of being an illustrator – even a doodler – but my work has never been mistaken for art. This was not a problem, since I didn’t need to be an artist in my original profession. Hey, as the long as the client was happy with the illustration – or

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-907523232003-03-15T01:45:00.000-05:002003-03-15T01:45:49.546-05:00

Unlovely Unplugged Well, it looks like Unlovely may be gone for good. We may be overeacting (well, me and the fine folks at Vutant but, frankly, things don't look good for the ol' workhorse. The last thing I posted there, believe it or not, was PEN*IS*MIGHTIER Chapter 5 (of 6). Since that series might now have bitten the dust, I will repost the five episodes here in the next few days. Write

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-906401222003-03-13T04:10:00.000-05:002003-03-13T04:10:35.246-05:00

Immunity Challenge Four for Survivorblog 3 Artemis 2003, An Epic Poem When the men that would worship you are weak, Obscurity becomes the thing you seek. All the admirable things about mankind Had become increasingly hard to find. When the tides of change swept the Greeks aside We found ourselves, with the Romans, allied. Their behavior filled us all with disgust - All the gods, that is, save

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-904318102003-03-09T21:52:00.000-05:002003-03-09T22:06:02.000-05:00

Immunity Challenge #3 for Survivorblog. The Kindest Cut of All Ben, I don't know what kind of Pagan anti-Jesus site you're running here, mister, but I'll have you know that March 26 is already a holiday, at least as far as we devout Catholics are concerned. Since you obviously don't know squat about the significance of March 26, I guess I'm going to have to tell all of you hell-bound

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-902003012003-03-05T17:46:00.000-05:002003-03-05T17:48:41.000-05:00

Immunity Challenge #2 for SurvivorBLOG 3 Yugen The Beatles were wrong when they sang: ... and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make... I think that we're born with a finite amount of love and once we've used it, once it's gone, it's gone forever and nothing is ever going to bring it back - not hope, not prayer, and not even somebody else's love. She has been out of my

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-900417702003-03-03T04:35:00.000-05:002003-03-03T04:37:48.000-05:00

I Think I'm Dumb, But I Can Pretend I am covered in black paint. No. Really. Head to toe. It is all over me. As some of you know, I spend time volunteering at a local theatre sometimes. I have discussed this recently here. If you don't wish to click there, here is what I wrote: I wish I could dress normal today, but, unfortunately, my arms are peppered with splinters. Yesterday, I

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-898886452003-02-28T02:13:00.000-05:002003-02-28T02:22:58.000-05:00

Links Added to the Sidebar: Lola and Stacia. I don't know why I haven't added Stacia before, other than the sneaking suspicious that nobody ever visits this particular site. What do I know? As for Lola, she is Flapperlicious or something. Also, LNC and Ichi, both old friends, at their sites linked at last.

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-898727792003-02-27T20:32:00.000-05:002003-02-27T20:32:32.360-05:00

Cards I used to be a tech-head. It is true. When it came to computer cards, or saving programs on a cassette tape attached to my Tandy, I was the man. No. The man. No, you don't understand. THE MAN. Anyhow, somewhere around 1989, I stoped paying attention to advances in programing language and, the next thing I know, there were all these things called "applets" and "javascripts" cloging

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-895823382003-02-22T23:38:00.000-05:002003-02-22T23:38:08.520-05:00

I Especially Miss Adebissi's Hat "Oz," my favorite TV show, comes to an end tomorrow night. I have been watching it from the begining and have enjoyed every dong-filled moment of it. Sometimes, it has been a little silly, but I think of the silliness like Cindy Crawford's mole. Yeah, it is an imperfection, but the imperfection shows off how perfect the rest of it is. However, I had a dream

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-894634032003-02-20T19:04:00.000-05:002003-02-21T20:05:11.000-05:00

What is all this Interweb noise about Galactic Toss Monkeys? Can anyone explain it to me?

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-894483182003-02-20T14:13:00.000-05:002003-02-20T19:04:15.000-05:00

Zentences!

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-893244272003-02-18T15:15:00.000-05:002003-02-18T15:19:29.000-05:00

While Nerds are Unpopular A great little article.

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-891685382003-02-15T21:55:00.000-05:002003-02-15T21:57:05.000-05:00

Hey! So, for the record, I am not competing in this Survivorblog 3 thing for the cash. I go on the record here saying that, should I by some bizarre set of circumstances, last long enough to collect a prize that I will give it to some sort of charity thing. Woot!

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-889980742003-02-12T18:05:00.000-05:002003-02-12T18:05:45.973-05:00

I have now gotten everything I've wanted out of life and can die. I have been selected to compete in Survivorblog 3. This means that I will need to update this blog more often, since it is my main link. For those of you who have never visted here before, I actually post all over the place. Look for me at: Unlovely Bowling for Jesus Self Hatred Jenna Springer My LiveJournal I also write

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-883095102003-01-30T23:55:00.000-05:002003-01-30T23:55:28.356-05:00

I wrote this to post in the Chickenlegs Blogger, but Chickenlegs is so gone that it is hopless. R.I.P. Chickenlegs Nobody will ever read this, I'm sad to report. I'm placing this here as a last resort. I 'm hoping that Sheila, Jesus, is all right For her sites went down without any fight. The world wonders wither hath Sheila fled? Taking a poop or laying in bed?

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-882876032003-01-30T16:17:00.000-05:002003-01-30T16:17:08.983-05:00

Hey! Kurt Vonnegut rocks!. Also, new update at Self Hatred.

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-881783222003-01-28T17:12:00.000-05:002003-01-28T17:12:20.903-05:00

FYI Updates this week at Jenna Springer, Bowling for Jesus, Unlovely and my LiveJournal. Hurray!

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-880885552003-01-27T04:30:00.000-05:002003-01-27T04:30:51.760-05:00

Book Review This month, I've been reading Journals by Kurt Cobain. Well, when I write "this month," I should stress that I mean, "from time to time when sitting on the toilet." Actually, the toilet is where I do most of my reading. Sometimes, I can't poop unless I am reading something. I think this is why people write on walls in bathrooms - so that they will have something to read when

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-878904152003-01-23T04:16:00.000-05:002003-01-23T04:16:31.040-05:00

Elf Sex You figure, according to Tolkein, elves live pretty much forever. This means that they don't really need to procreate, right? Why would an immortal race of beings have any need for children? Plus, unless elf women released, like, one egg every decade, they would have ovaries the size of beach balls - maybe larger - to last them for all time. My point is, if the elves don't need to

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-875257372003-01-16T05:04:00.000-05:002003-01-16T05:04:33.626-05:00

I have decided to apply for a chance to participate in Survivorblog 3. This means that I have to actually start updating this blog again. If you are Ben or one of the other judges, I write more often at: Unlovely Bowling for Jesus Jenna Springer Self Hatred Chickenlegs My Livejournal Especially Unlovely... Anyhow...

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-862983232002-12-19T21:20:00.000-05:002002-12-19T21:20:37.830-05:00

Reprinted from Validate This I have decided that everyone needs something to hate. This was a difficult decision for me, because I have always liked to think that I love everyone. However, I have come to believe, after a week in Norway, that you need to be able to hate with the full depth of your heart in order to love with the full depth of your heart. It was a spiritual journey after all.

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-857715612002-12-10T02:25:00.000-05:002002-12-10T02:25:05.286-05:00

Added link: Suburban Peril

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-855523442002-12-05T14:50:00.000-05:002002-12-10T02:25:38.000-05:00

December 5 Massive Joey Update Day Unlovely, where I ponder mortality. Chickenlegs, where I discuss one of my burning fears. SelfHatred.com, where I share a comforting thought. Bowling for Jesus, where I am confused about Noise music. Jenna Springer, where I flashback to something of a non-erotic misadventure. My Live Journal, where I talk about the new line-up of the Rep. Blurty, where I

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-851827382002-11-27T17:44:00.000-05:002002-11-27T17:44:36.316-05:00

Yes, Joey. I will go on the Asian tour. I am sorry for the way I left you folks in the lurch on the last tour, but I am ready to go with you now. I have the government's blessing, since I turned "State's Evidence" for them against Tak. We'll see you in December as we get ready to leave. Who else is going? Ant

Anthonynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-851484222002-11-27T01:03:00.000-05:002002-11-27T01:03:36.153-05:00

Standard Interweb Reality Disclaimer Caution The item you just read or are about to read may or may not be true. Names, events and characters may have been changed, altered or invented. Opinions expressed may or may not be those of the author. Indeed, opinions expressed may be the opposite of what the author intended, or entirely accidental. The item has been written in such a way that it

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-849648822002-11-23T05:40:00.000-05:002002-11-23T05:40:45.936-05:00

Presented here, for the first time online, is "The Third Gospel According to Techman." I confess here and now that I have virtually no memory of the in jokes contained within this script. Keep in mind that when I say "ten minute play," I mean I wrote it in ten minutes. If you can explain it, please let me know. The THIRD Gospel According to Techman Joey Michaels, leading you into the past

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-846999812002-11-18T04:22:00.000-05:002002-11-18T04:22:00.023-05:00

Believe it or not, somebody found one of the plays from the Unlovely "week o' plays" and wanted to know if there was a sequal. Actually, there are two. I don't completely understand either of them anymore, but here is the first sequal to 'The Gospel According to Techman.' The Second Gospel According to Techman As Adapted from the "Salt Lake" Scrolls by Joey Michaels Inspired by his Divine

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-845426652002-11-14T16:06:00.000-05:002002-11-14T16:06:54.133-05:00

My current Metafilter posts, including one on the aforementioned Timothy Dexter.

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-843555202002-11-11T05:05:00.000-05:002002-11-11T05:07:28.000-05:00

The Hollow Earth Theory, as championed in America by John Symmes. The original idea was proposed as early as 1692. It was championed by Vice President Richard M. Johnson while he was in congress. There are some people who appear to believe in it to this day.

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-842108742002-11-08T00:38:00.000-05:002002-11-08T00:38:05.400-05:00

Timothy Dexter - #1 in a Series From Infoplease: Dexter, Timothy, 1747-1806, American merchant and eccentric, b. Malden, Mass. He gained a fortune from the American Revolution by buying up depreciated certificates of indebtedness that were afterward reclaimed at full value. He also gained money by shrewd mercantile transactions. He was styled "Lord Timothy Dexter" by his fellows, and he

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-839877952002-11-03T23:29:00.000-05:002002-11-03T23:29:31.466-05:00

Hey! Adamst has a new layout at DsT and this is the only place I can link him.

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-833454572002-10-22T06:47:00.000-04:002002-10-22T06:47:48.043-04:00

I will write a long, slow, sexy, deep, throbbing update here soon. Yessss.

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-819458862002-09-22T06:27:00.000-04:002002-09-22T06:27:33.433-04:00

DisorderRatingParanoid:LowSchizoid:LowSchizotypal:LowAntisocial:LowBorderline:LowHistrionic:ModerateNarcissistic:LowAvoidant:LowDependent:LowObsessive-Compulsive:Low-- Click Here To Take The Test --

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-819066182002-09-21T03:15:00.000-04:002002-09-21T03:15:35.850-04:00

Reprinted from Validate This: Catechism 21 I am Catholic. Well, sure, I was never baptized. And, yeah, I never really ever went to church my whole life. And, of course, somebody had to explain to me that to become a saint one actually had to, first, be dead. However, both of my parents’ were lapsed Catholics, so even I don’t share any of the core beliefs of the Catholic Church, I am

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-815755212002-09-13T20:12:00.000-04:002002-09-13T20:12:13.616-04:00

I have been added to the writer's list at Jenna Springer's Dirty Little Secrets. To review. I can be found at: Unlovely Improvland Bowling for Jesus Chickenlegs Joey Michaels' Live Journal MetaFilter ... and I have written for ... Validate This (the greatest site on the InterWeb) Katy's Beatle (though I defy you to find the link) I confess, I am a little baffled that I can write at so many

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-809076852002-08-30T03:03:00.000-04:002002-08-30T03:04:16.000-04:00

I learned about this from the boys at Section-9. They referenced Daejin's website. From there, I learned the the true origin of the "100 Things about 100 Bloggers in 100 Days" project. (visit that site to read how you can be involved!) With this in mind, here are my 100 things: 1. My real name is not Joey Michaels 2. I was born in Virginia 3. I accept that I might be as anonymous as I

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-802640122002-08-15T01:34:00.000-04:002002-08-15T01:34:06.723-04:00

Clear Channel Communication Sucks Ass A Screenplay We are looking at some kind of dark, shiny surface on the screen. It is moving. Silence. Slowly, we hear something, a soft, scratchy sound. It becomes clear that it is the sound of a needle on a record hitting the label at the end of the album. Cut to an office in Clear Channel Communication headquarters. POL MARTIN, a sad looking man in a

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-799670052002-08-08T00:09:00.000-04:002002-08-08T00:09:13.556-04:00

The current best site on the Interweb!

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-796759682002-08-01T01:46:00.000-04:002002-08-01T01:46:19.393-04:00

Which tarot card are you?

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-782070742002-06-25T23:43:00.000-04:002002-06-25T23:43:22.480-04:00

While the Rep continues its pathetic tour across the United States, I have wisely chosen to stay behind in Texarkana with God's people. My people. I was approached by a shadey government type shortly after Joey revealed that I was still armed on his Live Journal. I must have a talk with him about his loose lips. At any rate, I thought I was headed back to the slammer for sure. This gentleman

Anthonynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-775590552002-06-10T05:41:00.000-04:002002-06-10T05:41:16.570-04:00

As many of you may know, I have been suffering from writer's block. Some may say that I have always suffered from this and am just realizing it now, but I prefer to think of it as a recent development. Anyhow, I have been going around complaining about this pretty much everywhere. Finally, at Camwhores, the Yoda of the Cam world, Sunny, suggested that I just out and out lift a discussion from

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-772346642002-06-01T20:45:00.000-04:002002-06-01T20:45:26.853-04:00

Today I am filled with biterness and hatred towards everything around me. This happens from time to time and I have found I have two choices: 1) Masturbate Furiously 2) Focus all the hatred in my shriveled little black heart and something in specific. Well, I am all out of hand lotion and kleenex, so it is time to direct a big fuck you at modern art. First, modern art is stupid because it

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-772063352002-05-31T22:48:00.000-04:002002-05-31T22:49:43.000-04:00

Live for art. Die for art. Run from the barking hounds of the law for art. That is my credo. That is why I am here. My name is Anthony Gross. Lady Potamus has established her own little corner of dischordia on the Internet, so Joey has asked me to do some writing on this spot. Do not expect cute little celebrity stories. Expect serious, hard hitting examinations of art and society from

Anthonynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-772015532002-05-31T19:50:00.000-04:002002-05-31T19:50:15.640-04:00

More Rejected Stuff from VT - Written right before I went on my trip: Sleep of the Just. Just what? Sometimes I just fucking love life so much that I don’t want to miss a single moment of it. Sure, it is 3 in the morning and I need to work in four hours, but if I fall asleep, oh! the things I will miss! There are Shannon Tweed movies on cable! Dear friends to chat with on AIM! Hairs to

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-765898792002-05-15T16:59:00.000-04:002002-05-15T16:59:02.330-04:00

Hello Darlings! Well, I am thrilled as can be to report that I was able to attend a special screening of George Lucas' Star Wars: Attack of the Clones this last week. Bless George's heart, he is one of most naive, blissfully unaware souls that I have ever encountered. He is naive, ignorant, out of touch, and everything else that makes a male wonderful. Plus, he has that manly Papa Hemingway

Lady Potamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01041461627906543379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-762545192002-05-07T03:47:00.000-04:002002-05-07T03:47:32.240-04:00

When I was a teenager, I had a lot of advantages that you kids today don't. For example, during my high school days, I was blissfully ignorant of AIDS, though it was already spreading, so I was able to oof like a rabbit. Which is to say I could have oofed like a rabbit. Had anyone been interested. This was the early 1980's and the Cold War was raging. Perhaps raging isn't a descriptive

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-762160782002-05-06T07:45:00.000-04:002002-05-06T07:45:50.320-04:00

Rejected Screenplay (based on a suggestion from Amanda) VAGINAL WARS Throbbing, painful techno music permeates the air. The screen is dark. It feels like we are spinning around and around and then pulling back through the dark at an impossibly fast speed. Suddenly, light! As we pull back quickly, we realize we were nestling in LARA CROFT’s pubic hair, perhaps exploring it like mighty jungle

J. Michaelshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11729549196461101376noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-761001182002-05-02T20:31:00.000-04:002002-05-02T20:31:38.390-04:00

Hello All! Well, it has been a rough few months in celebrity death-land. The latest victim was none other than TLC's Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes. Now, I remember her most for the condom she used to wear in the frames of her glasses. She went the same way that that other safe sex affecianado, Linda Lovelace went, while driving a car. "But Lady Potamus," you shout, "Linda Lovelace was a porn star!

Lady Potamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01041461627906543379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-759551152002-04-29T04:13:00.000-04:002002-04-29T04:13:11.486-04:00

Greetings Darlings! I am so drunk. I am so very, very, very drunk. I can't recall the last time I was this drunk. Frankly, I can't recall anything at all right now. I can't recall when I had my first drink tonight. I can't recall the name of the nude gentleman on my divan, or the name of the pantless lad passed out in my boudoir. I can't recall where my support bra is, and I am in bad need

Lady Potamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01041461627906543379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3352474.post-757825952002-04-24T17:37:00.000-04:002002-04-24T17:37:03.180-04:00

Greetings Darlings! Lady Potamus here. Well, I have been following the Robert Blake situation with great interested. I actually had something of a tryst with him back in his hey-day. I still recall the first time he suggested that I should keep my eye on the sparrow. The thought of it now sends unpleasant shivers down my spine. Truth be told, I actually was involved in a threesome with

Lady Potamushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01041461627906543379noreply@blogger.com0