Hello Dearies!

I am Lady Potamus of the Canadian Ladies Dischordian Society and the newest member of this exciting online team.

For those of you who may not know me, I have been working as an improvisor, a hostess of grand balls, and a general lover of celebrities since my early teens. I attended Miss Verlaine's School for Misbegotten Lasses in Montreal during the first part of the Twentieth Century, and have had the pleasure of knowing numerous celebrities (in every sense of the word "know") from that time on.

I was invited by my dear, dear, dear friend Joey to contribute to this site, which might lead you to ask "Lady Potamus! How on earth did Joey Michaels ever meet you?"

Well, back in his younger days, Joey was the child star of the ill-fated sitcom "Missionary Position." This network sitcom followed the adventures of a young, idealistic missionary, sent to a different developing third world nation every week. He traveled with his young son (played by Joey). The two of them would basically arrive in the new country, mock the traditions of its inhabitants with their ignorance, and then get chased our by the angry natives when little Jimmy (Joey's character) would inadvertnetly anger their pagan gods. It was quite charming, but the audiences of the early 1960's weren't ready for that sort of progressive humor.

Well, in '61, I was asked to star as a Malaysian priestess in one episode. I don't look the least bit Malaysian, but the make-up department took care of that! By the end of the session, I looked like a mature caucasian woman with heavy Indonesian make-up. It would never do in today's politically correct climate, but back then most North Americans wouldn't know a Malaysian if one walked up and bit them on the ass.

Now, of course, I would be able to tell by the way that their firm Malaysian teeth clamped down on my still firm buttocks, but that is another story altogether!

Back to the narrative, another young actor was featured as the male slave of the priestess, and it was none other than a young, strapping Fabian. He had had a few minor musical hits and was looking to break into the big time through television appearances. Let his modern anonimity be a warning to teen pop stars everywhere.

Well, Fabian had the sweetest little crush on me, so I let him bone me like a trout. Ah, young love.

Still in the afterglow, I walked out of my trailer, my Indonesian make-up now smeared all over my upper torso, and shot my scene. It was one of my greatest performances ever. Little Joey Michaels was so impressed with my performance that he immediatly renounced his family and asked that I adopt him.

Alas, child protective services had made it frightfully clear to me that I was to stay 150 yards away from anyone under the age of 16, so I was unable to adopt him, but we formed a life long friendship that has lasted to this day.

I am thrilled to be a part of this new growth of Joey's. I look forward to being able to give you this window into my life.

Cheerio, dears! Drink up!

Comments: Post a Comment

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?