Greetings Darlings!

I am so drunk. I am so very, very, very drunk. I can't recall the last time I was this drunk. Frankly, I can't recall anything at all right now. I can't recall when I had my first drink tonight. I can't recall the name of the nude gentleman on my divan, or the name of the pantless lad passed out in my boudoir. I can't recall where my support bra is, and I am in bad need of support.

Based on the fact that my tongue feels like it is covered with swarming red ants, I suspect I was drinking something stronger than beer, but weaker than whiskey. Whiskey makes my tongue feel like it has been pierced with long acupuncture needles. Beer can't make me this drunk, and I am very, very drunk.

I just turned on the television set and was thrilled to see my favorite Cinemax actress, Shannon Tweed. Now, I have never had the pleasure of meeting Ms. Tweed, but if I ever did and I was drunk as I am now, be assured that I would spend a good quarter of an hour passed out between her ample bosoms. I would sing, "I shall Walk Through thr Valley," but my proximity to her sternum would result in my sounding like some sort of wookie.

Well, I had better start preparing my hangover remedy - I am mainlining viagra. It seems to do me good.

Love to love you, babies!

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