When I was a teenager, I had a lot of advantages that you kids today don't.

For example, during my high school days, I was blissfully ignorant of AIDS, though it was already spreading, so I was able to oof like a rabbit. Which is to say I could have oofed like a rabbit. Had anyone been interested.

This was the early 1980's and the Cold War was raging. Perhaps raging isn't a descriptive enough phrase. I should have written "the Cold War was looming over our heads like an evil, dark, life-sucking fog." The positive thing about the Cold War, though, is that the constant threat of total nuclear anihilation was so real that it became an excuse to, again, off like rabbits.

"Hey, Suzy! Reagan pissed off Brezhnev again and the bombs will be flying like mosquitos any second."

"Oh, Joey, whatever will we do?"

"Let us oof like rabbits."

Of course, in spite of the fact that most of young student types hated Reagan, he managed to end the cold war and, at about the same time, end the sexual revolution. According to many women I have interviewed, nobody has had sex since 1989. I can attest to this.

I've been feeling a little depressed about this for about seven years. Fortunately, Warren Buffet (no relationship to Jimmy), investment guru, recently reawakened most of my Cold War fears and dreams.

According to Buffet, a nuclear attack on U.S. soil is a virtual certainty. Says he, "It will happen. Whether it will happen in 10 years or 10 minutes, or 50 years..."

Now, I am not want of those conspiracy theory types, but on the same day that I read about Buffet's prediction, I read this article," which alleges that the Joint Chiefs of Staff were trying to engineer an attack on U.S. soil and blame Cuba so that the American people would support military action in Cuba.

So, if Buffet, who probably has some government contacts, is saying it is a certainty, and the government has pondered this thing before, I think you young people are in for a spot of luck. Take some time today and tell somebody you are hot for "We'd better oof before Bush blows us up."

Nothing is better than fear nookie. Nothing.

Well, I wouldn't know, but you get my point.
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