Feed The World Originally Untitled 

Reprinted from Chickenlegs.net - 10/15/02

I think I am lactating.

No, seriously, I know I'm a guy and stuff, and nothing has actually come out of my nipples, but I feel like my breasts are just swelling with milk.

I feel like I could feed a nation. Starving children could come up to me and I would suckle them. Sure, I would need to shave my nipples first, or at least pluck them, but the humiliation would be worth it. I would be saving lives with my father's milk.

Well, that might be a misnomer, as well. I am not actually a father, not am I likely to be, as I would need to impregnate somebody first. This leads me to my theory as to why I might be lactating. I figure that since I am not likely to ever have sex with an actual human being, my body has decided it should take on some female secondary sexual traits. I don't think I can impregnate myself, but I do think I can feed a child should I have one.

In the meantime, I was considering getting a puppy.

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