Notebook Glurge Part Two 

In cleaning my apartment, I came across a notebook from 1996. Here's more stuff that was written in it.

The Readiness is All! The Red-y-ness is Hall. All in the family. Family Affair. Oedipus Complex. Not as complex as you might think I'm crazy. Crazy as a fox. Foxy Lady. Lady of Spain I adore you. Je t'adore, mademoiselle. Petite Juene Fille. Thank Heavens For Little Girls. Little Boy blue come blow your horn. Blow my horn. Wear the horns of a cuckold. Cuc Old. Cold Weather. Whether or not here I come. Tonight she comes. I look at other women out of habit. Bad habit. Of the Baltimore Tears. Baltimore Stallions. Father Owner Coach. Home from school for the holidays - a long trip, frequent flier miles. Miles from nowhere, somewhere, anywhere, you and me got a bad disease. Why is my mind clogged with mental garbage all that comes down to the paper sometimes is song quotes and questions with no answers. What am I looking for? How deep must I dive? Is there anywhere to dive? My mind is a tide pool, Tadpole, big dry frog buddy. Buddy ol' pal ol' friend. Friend of P's then your friends with me. What if I was Hamlet? Do stories repeat themselves? What do we see Hamlet do? He thinks for four acts then finally acts. Not Acts, but Thinks. He is ready to act in the Queen's boudoir and kills the wrong man. Kills an intruder in his mom's room. Who is the real intruder? Penetrate try not to hate don't suffocate on your own hate. I see this on a sunny afternoon birds flying from the trees full of liceitching into my scalp burning on my head bursting into my brain itching down like acid 'til there's nothing left but pus and my head still works like nothing happened - I am not my head! Hamlet learns that he is not his brain - he is a pawn - we all must play our part and that is all we must do - we are part of a divine clock, a celestial glockenspiel and His hand is in all things in all things. The King is a Thing. Thinking is not an action. Deciding is an action - Action Jackson. Michael doesn't live here anymore. Michael's thing. Cousin It. What is it?

Who is it? What are we waiting for - I don't know, but I'm ready for it, whatever it is.

We know Hamlet's story because Horatio lived to tell it.

So he doesn't know he's Hamlet. All the choices he thinks he's made in his life lead up to this moment. This instant. and now, suddenly, he realizes that fate has made him Hamlet, not on the stage, but in real life and he refuses to accept it. There is not fate in '96, no God, no divine plan, but he sees in every moment, every second indications that he's wrong. God exists, and the readiness to play your part in His plan really is all. In God's plan, he's to kill and then die. Its as simple as that. The subject is acceptence that there is something greater than the human mind, the intellect, the head. He cannot see it, but it shows itself to him every day. That's just the way it is.

Hamlet has a dead (murdered) father, a mother married to his father's (murderer) brother, a crazy girlfriend, an adoring but critical best friend, a rival who wants him dead, a thing for live theatre, a touch of the playwright and a dilema.

Fortinbras and Laertes are Hamlet parrallels.
Polonius, Claudius compare to his dad.
Opehlia's madness contrasts his ruse.

We don't believe in ghosts or God
We don't have Kings and an associated chain of power.
Polonius is a psychiatrist
We don't have a unified view of the cosmos
Women have more rights now
We don't have courtiers (but we do have brown nosers)
We have more effective weapons
We have better police/detective work
Pre-marital sex is more acceptable
Homosexuality is more accepted
Our society is less homogeneous
Attending a University is not unusual
We don't have Jesters in the Shakespearian sense
News travels faster now
Illicit drugs are more readily available
We don't have the same kind of traveling players
We have other forms of entertainment
R+G only exist to die

Comment in 2004: I think I might have been thinking of writing a modern adapatation of Hamlet

What ever happened to natural law?
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