Home of Lady Potamus

Hello Darlings! Lady Potamus here!

Well, it seems that Joey Michaels has started his own Live Journal.

"Lady Potamus," I hear you exclaim, "what about Teatro Triste del Clown?"

Well, I am happy to say that he will still update here occasionally, but that this is destined to become my home on the Internet.

I am very pleased to have all this space to myself.

It reminds me of the time my first husband, David (which he pronounced DAH-veed) moved out on me. The year was 1936. The place, New York City. Well, I was stunned and disapointed to learn that he had been having an affair with Dorothy Parker and hand't bothered to involve me! I gave him a piece of my mind and he asked me for a piece of ass. I was so angry that I hurled the urn containing his mothers ashes at him.

He had absolutely no sense of humor about this, and the next thing I knew, he was gone.

Well, at first, I was morose. Our spacious Park Avenue apartment was huge and lonely without him. I sulked, wrote bad poetry while under the influence of heavy drink, and masturbated loudly on the balcony.

I was unprepared, however, for the knock on my door one cold December night. Wearing only a flannel nightie (which was considered quite risque in those days), I threw open the door and who should burst into my room, but Bill and Earl Bolick, better known as The Blue Sky Boys.

Well, they launched into a rousing rendition of "Longest Train I Ever Saw," immediatly before I launched into pulling the longest train I ever pulled, if you know what I mean. Ah, brotherly love took on a whole new meaning and by the morning, I decided to invest all of David's money in the Grand Ole Opry. David hated country music, the heathen.

Anyhow, have a sip of brandy on me! Better yet, off of me!

Oh, I feel witty this morning!

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Wither Germany?

It has been several weeks now since Manuel at Improvland vanished due to what he refered to as "computer problems." During this time, I could have written anywhere from 50-75 brilliant improv articles. Alas, due to the sad problems of one of the improv worlds nicest webmasters, I have used this time, instead, to climb the trecherous corporate ladder of Kinko's.

As you know, a few days ago, Kip resigned and I was promoted to assistant manager. Well, my Manager, let's call him "Lucky," was fired yesterday for sexual harrasment. He was, apparently, using the internet to post "poser" images at this distressing site.

To make a long, sordid story short, I am now the manager of Kinko's. It is the highest paying non-theatrical job I have ever held. I don't know whether I should consider this selling out, or whether I should just smile as the money rolls into the bank.

Anyhow, the two member version of "Sad Clown Rep" balanced out last weeks marathon performance with a fifteen minute show tonight. I was a little disapointed to hear this. Apparently, Max didn't show up and Tiffany ended up playing "Complaint Department" with herself for the whole time. While audience members apparently called her work "inspired," she felt obligated to refund their money since she couldn't provide a full length show. Damn her eyes!

In other news, I'm trying to come up with an update for Unlovely. Alas, I am growing bored with parodying a detective and I am concerned that some of the readers don't know *who* I am parodying. I pity the fool, man or doctor, who doesn't get the joke, as it makes the articles a bit more fun.

The other problem with updating Unlovely is that I am perceived as "taking the place" of a beloved writer (whom I, to tell the truth, loved as well). Truth be told, I drove this writer (Cookie) from the internet with my bad jokes and evil clown make-up just so I could write at Unlovely! It worked, too, and I can confess it freely here since nobody visits this blog!

Soon, my evil plan will be complete.

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